“Crass, systematical intimate partner violence was constructed in front of our eyes: from punishment by silence through a destruction of a woman’s personality and self-esteem to verbal abuse and threats”, wrote media researcher and opinion journalist Vera Mérő in a Facebook post on the 10th season of the reality show Való Világ (“The Real World”, VV10), which has been showing on TV Channel RTL II since November.
Her post concentrates on two couples: Renátó and Fru, and Dani and Virág. Both couples got together during the show. Regarding the first couple, Mérő mentions that Renátó has used Fru as a sex object, pressured her to intercourse, humiliated her threateningly and also suggested the possibility of physical violence.
Comments under the post agreed and added that Győző Gáspár, the presenter of the background show, also frequently humiliates the female participants of the show. He also received similar critiques five years ago, in the show’s 8th season, when he asked participants questions like “Which one would you ruin if you went in there now?” or “How would you humiliate Dina?” The Marketing Communications Department of RTL Hungary were also shocked at such statements and decided that Gáspár would have to get training on these issues.
I do not follow the new season, but I took a glimpse at the videos uploaded onto the RTL website. It was quite easy to find content Mérő has objected against. For instance, at the end of part 56, there was a short selection of scenes about Renátó and Fru’s relationship; the commentary said these tried to give an ironic view of a loving, gentle, intimate relationship, but the scenes depict Renátó verbally abusing Fru and spitting into her mouth, to which then she spits back. They have also included the scene when Fru emphasizes several times that she does not want to go to bed with Renátó in the show, but in the next scene they are having sex; this is what Mérő called intercourse under pressure. In a later video, Renátó gets angry at the other participants and lets it out on Fru, complaining that she does not want to have sex with him every night, claiming she is tired. “I’m not gonna fucking touch you ever again. It’s 1000%”, he says, after which she talks to the camera: “It doesn’t feel right to fall out with Renátó. It’s a bit of a psychoterror, I’m afraid of him when we fall out. he can say stuff that hurts a lot and then I fall asleep all nervous.”
In her Facebook post Mérő mentions that another relationship in the show (Dani and Virág) also includes elements of abuse, oppression of women and a destruction of personality. Also, some weeks ago a participant, Vivien, told her companions that she had been raped, but the others doubted her. This was a grave case of victim blaming, to which RTL Klub reacted by inviting Vera Mérő to a morning program to talk about this issue.
After reading this post, I asked RTL Hungary whether they plan to go deeper into this topic, invite an expert to explain viewers what they are seeing or send Gáspár to another training. This is what they answered:
“As a market-leading TV station we consider it our mission to not only entertain but raise topics that should be dealt with on a societal level. In VV10 powered by Big Brother the relations between participants shed light on problems present in society, but in their offscreen lives they do not want to face them, do not dare to take action against them or are not even aware that what they are living in is harmful for them. These are often taboo topics that people don’t like to talk about, but VV10 makes them visible and impossible to cover up.”
They assured us that VV10 participants have access to a psychologist who looks after their mental health. They also mentioned that on another program, Vera Mérő will talk to presenter Péter Puskás about these events. When things “got tough” in the show, Puskás in fact commented that this was no way to talk to anybody and he hoped that other men felt as uncomfortable with this as himself. I have also approached Puskás, who said:
“In the past days, weeks and months, important social issues have been discussed on the internet in relation to VV10. Therefore, I find it important to add responsible commentary to what we see on the show, because this way we can influence public opinion. As a public personality, I have always found it important to stand up for important issues like animal rights, education or against cyberbullying – not just to follow a trend, like many others, but because of my own conscience and worldview. I am glad that the creators of ValóVilág10 powered by Big Brother always give me space to express my own opinion or even critique, and I get a lot of positive feedback from viewers. This happened also when there were instances of verbal aggression on the show. However, there are situations where it is not enough to voice opinions, but we must take solutions to the next level and make it clear to the audience that what they see is unacceptable. We must also see that these are topics we face in our everyday lives: this show is a mirror to society.”
